Day #5 – Oooh! Shiny Object!

So I have like PAGES of notes from Mead after our awesome meeting on Monday and all kinds of ideas about things to fix and I like CANNOT BRING MYSELF to sit down and do it.  I am 1/20th of the way through my 100 days and I’m already behind.  OH SWELL.  In fact, I am procrastinating from doing my rewrites by the very act of blogging about procrastinating about doing my rewrites.  (Did I just blow your mind?)

This isn’t because Mead wasn’t helpful, or because I don’t know what needs to be done.  I am just a world-class award-winning procrastinator laureate.  I cannot help it.  ‘Twas ever thus.   My friend Trisha remarked with a certain degree of amusement, when I first started this blog, about how funny she thought it was that I had not finished the play yet (I hadn’t even begun the 100 days by that point) but yet already had a marketing image.  To which my response was a resounding, “HAHAHAHAHAHA OH TRISHA YOU SLAY ME!”  Because, I’m sorry, OF COURSE I have a marketing image.   I also have a marketing synopsis, fake posters, a celebrity cast just in case Tim Burton ever wants to make this into a stop-motion animated movie, quotes for the back page of the program, and intermission music.

What I don’t have is a play.

Or, at any rate, a finished play.  Why?  Because inevitably, no matter how exciting it is when you start out, a day will come when the writing begins to feel like work.  Because it IS work.  And as soon as it’s work, it stops being fun.  And as soon as it stops being fun, it becomes something to procrastinate from.  Which means my brain starts spinning around all kinds of different things I could be doing that are KIND OF related, so I feel like I’m being productive without having to actually slog through, you know, WRITING.  Here is a by-no-means-comprehensive list of just a few of the many, many things I did while I was supposed to be working on this play but wasn’t, which I convinced myself were at least loosely “helpful”:

–Working on this blog

–Re-reading The Name of the Rose, The Cloister Walk, The Monk Downstairs, and any other book I could find on my shelf which even remotely related to monks

–Spending like $100 on iTunes, downloading music I told myself I was considering for the preshow/intermission/postshow playlist even though I knew I really wasn’t

–Googling the lyrics to dozens of Leonard Cohen songs

–Downloading like a hundred new fonts, and then changing the title font on the first page of the script at least twice per day

–plotting a fantasy vacation to Italy where I could stay in a monastery because it’s so much cheaper than a hotel

–Crafting the perfect celebrity dream cast for the play and then Googling pictures of them to make a fake poster and then changing the celebrity lineup one thousand times (no, I will never tell you who was on the list, and you will never see said fake poster.  All I will say is, I refuse to apologize for the fact that my dream celebrity to play Magnus is this guy.)

–Reading the course catalog for Mount Angel Seminary

–Planning out what I would say if I was ever interviewed about how I came up with the idea for this play, and trying to make it sound really witty and charming and not like I spent hours planning it out before the play was even done

–Changing my Facebook profile picture (and now we’re getting into the arena of things I’m not even pretending were related)

–IM’ing my sister in Chicago

–Planning the cocktails (or “Hitchcocktails”) for my Hitchcock-themed birthday party, and then naming them after Hitchcock movies, and then making signs to put by each one with the original movie poster of the movie they were named after and the list of ingredients, in a cool font (I cannot overstate to you how badass I am at making up cocktails.  The “Torn Curtain,” which is vanilla vodka in chilled cream soda, was probably the biggest hit of the night)

–Watching SuperNanny on Hulu

–Playing Spider Solitaire

–Maintaining my aggressive commitment to keeping up with celebrity gossip

–Daydreaming about Gabriel Byrne moving to Portland, becoming my new best friend, and being in my play

So you see, I’m clearly FAR too busy to make these edits.  So much to do!  What a packed social calendar!  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for me to change the backdrop on my Twitter for the four hundredth time.


One thought on “Day #5 – Oooh! Shiny Object!

  1. i love you! and i’m glad/sorry to be a playwriting distraction. this distinctly willett-girl trait (of constantly avoiding things you must do) is the pits sometimes. hang in there!

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